Beat ’em off! With a stick! – Alan Fuller | The Shaman Witch

Beat ’em off! With a stick!

Dude … so, I just have to say this. (I say “dude,” even though not all of my readers are dudes, but it’s just a figure of speech, of course.)

Now look … I removed the formula for the Cum N Get It Mojo because this shit is just dangerous.

Here’s what I do not mean: this is not the movie The Craft, where you cast a love spell on your high school crush and he suddenly becomes a little bit stalky, and then escalates to complete creepy stalker, and then escalates further into fatal attraction. This is not that. It ain’t a movie over here, folks (although sometimes, it seems it could be classified as a tragic drama or something – kidding).

Here’s what I do mean: the other night, I decided I wanted to go out and play – on Saturday. So I grabbed my Cum N Get It Mojo and slipped him into my right pocket. I emailed this guy I’d seen once before. We met up and had our playtime at a local hotel. Then I went to the Adult Bookstore (don’t judge, bitch) and ended up surrounded by four hotties in the theater area. I shan’t go into further details about what happened in that situation, but suffice to say a good time was had by all.

Here’s what I do mean: On Sunday, I told the hubs I’d like to have someone come by, hang for a few hours, maybe smoke a bowl. (Again: don’t judge.) On Monday, as soon as I’d showered, I picked up my Cum N Get It Mojo and gave it a kiss. (I always do that. It’s a friendship thing to me, I guess.) Then I fed him and told him how much I appreciated all the wonderful … ahem … “things” he’s been bringing me. And then I wasn’t even looking for anything, but when I opened up my favorite app on the phone, I instantly had a message from this amazingly hot 20-something dude. His new nickname is “In Triplicate.” And here’s why:

pwrbttmactivateChild, I was in positions I haven’t been in since my 20’s. And OH MY GAWDS! Three times, you hear me? Three times. Read that again: three times. Sinking in yet? THREE. TIMES. Spare bedroom twice, living room once. And it was about to happen again in the hallway. I had to back this boss up off of me. Bitch I was tired, do you understand me? TIRED. (And a little bit high, but that’s neither here nor there.)

So yes … it’s been an eventful weekend, and an eventful Monday. And I still had to come to work tonight. Ugh. But Mmm Mmm Mmm.

So now you know … the formula for this Cum N Get It Mojo is not on this site anywhere at all. Took it down. For good reason.


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